I'm back.
why I took a break + a welcome to hardship & harvest
Hi friend,
Well, without intending to, I took a year-long break from Substack. I’ve thought about writing several times over the last many months, but I’ve struggled to sit, process, and put my thoughts into words.
It’s easy to neglect the things that bring us life when we’re living in survival mode. And friend, that’s where I’ve been for the last year.
Last March, I totaled my car and we found out we were pregnant all within a few weeks. It was all so unexpected, and I began spiraling. I’ve written and preached about trusting in God’s provision. I started my podcast last year about looking for God’s goodness in trials. I started blogging five years ago to explore God’s faithfulness in broken places. But this all felt like too much to trust God with.
I intentionally took a break from my podcast and social media, but I unintentionally took a break from writing altogether. I struggled to pray and connect with God. This last year has been a journey in surrender and deeply personal trust in the God who holds my life in his hands.
God worked things out with my car situation, and he gave our family what we needed to provide for another baby. He gave us answers about our futures and financial provision. God gave us a community of other young families to do life with. I started praying deeper prayers and longing to experience God’s presence. I found myself standing right in the middle of the harvest - plentiful, good, and fruitful.
Our sweet baby Ezra was born at the end of November, and life has been both chaotic and beautiful ever since. We are still learning how to operate in our new normal, but by the grace of God, we’re doing it. I’m showing up in the messy middle and asking God to do what he will with me.
So this brings me to today. This is the first time I’ve even attempted to write something for Substack in over a year. I’ve thought about it so many times, but I wasn’t ready to step back into regular writing. Part of me was scared to show up imperfectly, to string words together in the middle of this season that I often want to run away from. But God has been prompting me to write again, even if it’s messy. He’s reminding me to show up fully in this season, to be present where my feet are.
So here we are: Welcome to Hardship & Harvest. If you’re receiving this today, it’s because you were either subscribed to Between the Pines (my old Substack name) or my email list over on Kit. After a year of reflection of what to do with this space, I decided to rebrand it to Hardship & Harvest to reflect what God continues to teach me about trials and his goodness. I also decided to consolidate my email lists to one over here on Substack to simplify things for me. Some of you may also recognize Hardship & Harvest as my podcast’s name, which I’m hoping to revive at some point in 2025.
Over the last year, God has shown me that within both my hardship and my harvest, he is always present and faithful. He has good things for me even on my worst days. His abundance is never ending.
Even in my wandering and doubting this year, He has never been more faithful to provide for me and my family.
My hope for this space is that we will explore what it means to operate from the messy middle, showing up when we want to run the other direction. We will learn how we can find God’s goodness in hardship and remember that the harvest is coming. We’ll learn to embrace all that God gives us because we know that it’s character-shaping. We’ll gain perspective and peace - the Lord knows I need these in this season of mothering an almost 4 year old and a 3 month old. We will laugh together, cry together, and lean on each other through life’s trials and celebrations.
Welcome to Hardship & Harvest, friend. I hope you will feel at home here.
So happy your back! I love reading your writing. Praising God he’s brought you through the thick and thin!